I am happy and I want to help people.
I’m not rich. I’m not successful in a conventional way. I don’t own a house. I don’t have children. I haven’t achieved goals that are often associated with being happy.
Just quickly, this is fairly heavy and personal. It is just my view of the world, no one else’s, so take it with a grain of salt.
I think it’s important to acknowledge that happiness for others does not mean happiness for you. It’s equally important to know how to share happiness with those that have not found it. But it’s imperative that you don’t just tell someone how to be happy.
How have I found happiness? I ask myself this all the time. During my reflection I’ve learnt that happiness is not a permanent state. It ebbs and flows and sometimes those flows can last weeks and those ebbs could be as short as a few moments. But, whenever I found it, I latched on to it. When I first realised what I had, I locked it away. I hid it from those around me fearful that they would take it from me. It took me a long time to release the hold I had on it. But once I did, it was the best thing to ever happen to me.
My relationships flourished, both personally and professionally. I created meaningful connections with people I had inadvertently shut out. I celebrated achievements more often and in doing so created opportunity. As I began to grow so too did those around me. It was all about learning. Learning how to accept happiness and how to share it. But the most significant part of all of this was understanding how other people experienced their own happiness and more importantly, when.
Everyone is unique, shaped by their own perception, culture, societal pressures, experiences and likely a whole plethora of other thing, making the way they find happiness different to me. It might sound simple, your friend received a promotion. It’s a positive event, it signifies progression and new opportunity. But it also means change and greater responsibility. Not everyone is cut out for this experience and most people don’t work that out until they try it.
This can lead to a false sense of happiness, the initial elation driven by those around you assuming that the promotion is what makes you happy. I have found in the last few years that people often celebrate happiness early, finding out later that the thing they thought would make them happy (because society or culture tells them it should) has experienced the opposite.
I have wanted to write about my happiness for some time. Until now I was shy and apprehensive. But then I realised that there will be people out here on the internet who might just be looking for someone to help them along. Provide guidance or general advice. Relinquish secrets and thoughts that perhaps they hadn’t thought of. So I have decided to post a short blog series about how I have achieved happiness. I don’t want to tell anyone how to find or experience happiness, but just share what worked for me and maybe some things that didn’t.
If that helps anyone, then I’ve done what I set out to do. I hope whoever you are, you make it in whatever you are trying to achieve, that you find your happiness. In the end we are all trying to get there. No one is alone in this and it’s important to remember that.