It’s Saturday sleep ins and pooping in peace.
I don’t have children.
I have 3 siblings. Two brothers and a sister. My fiancé, Bella, also has 3 siblings, all girls. We have spoken at length about what having children means. More importantly, we talked about why we want/don’t want children.
The subject is quite scary when you crack down on it. There’s a lot to consider, finances, well being, whether or not you’re ready (whatever that means), the global impact and the future. Those are just a few subjects we touched on. But I only want to talk about 2 things.
The first one is my selfishness. That might sound a little silly, but let me explain. I. Love. My. Life. I have no interest in adding an additional mouth to feed to my daily routine. I want to be able to go out on a whim. I want to not have to deal with dirty nappies or tantrums. I’m not ready to give up all of my hobbies and bad behaviours to role model for my own child. With all of that said, I have two beautiful nieces, that I will happily positively reinforce and role model for. They will see the things I want them to see, learn the things about me I want them to learn. It’s my responsibility to protect them from my vices and although they may not be my children, I would still do anything for them. But at the end of the day, they don’t come home with me. I am selfish. I don’t see anything wrong with that.
Secondly, there is a ridiculous amount of expectation to start popping out kids like a ball machine at a batting cage. My Dad has asked Bella a dozen times when we plan to have children. We have only seen him 4 times in the last 2 years. That’s not to mention the same question from colleagues, friends or other family members. Society seems to think that having children is a surefire way to be happy. I couldn’t disagree more. But again, this is just my view. I have friends who are just built to have children. It’s their passion or purpose and they are damn good at it. They are wonderful parents who absolutely kill it and I shower them in praise whenever I see them.
I suppose, that when/if we’re ready we’ll pull out the yellow legal pad and slap down the pros and cons for reconsideration. But for now, Bella and I are happy without children. Both of us are doing amazing things without them. I couldn’t be prouder of my nieces and that’s enough for me.
I guess, what I’m trying to say here is ignore the expectations. Understand what you want to achieve and be damned should it conflict with someone else’s idea of how you should live your life.
Thanks for reading! If you missed part 6 it’s located here – Break the mould